Save BEER PONG!

Ladies and Gentleman,

The U-Dub, 'People's Republic of Madison', and Kathleen 'Falk Lied - People Died' are outraged that a campus Walgreen's would have the audacity to sell ping pong balls and plastic cups to the student population. I am so thrilled our city and campus leaders have so much time on their hands to focus on a perceived abuse of alcohol rather than concentrating their efforts on the many unsolved murders and stabbings also occurring in the campus area.

Where should our focus be? Which poses a greater threat? 1.)Some student stumbling on the curb wobbling back to their dorm? or 2.) An innocent victim of rape or murder? Gee, let me think... First, let's compare how many students make a conscious choice to drink alcohol and compare that to how many students make a conscious choice to be murdered or raped. Would you believe several thousand to ZERO is a viable answer? Again, how many ping pong balls have directly resulted in the death of a student? I may have missed some obscure news story, but I'll guess that is a big goose egg.

Walgreen's is the pharmacy under attack and they have the most amazing business model I've ever seen. Walgreen's, please draw your line in the sand. If you cave to the pressure of the campus, I will put your awesome company in the same category as the spineless masses of retail corporate America too afraid to do what needs to be done. Instead, I encourage you to not only continue your ping pong ball sales, but sell them with caricatures of Kathleen Falk and Lori whatever the dean of students' name is. Put them on a massive rack outside the store, advertise them, make more money and increase profits for your shareholders. If there is one thing students are, it is resourceful. Should ping pong balls be banned, there's another silly gimmick waiting in the wings to be discovered and I guarantee Walgreen's will be the first to stock them for the hungry students. Capitalism -- I love it.

This is not an endorsement for binge drinking, but it is a slap in the face with reality. Not only do our youth receive an outstanding education (outstanding is a word that should be used loosely, but I'll save that for another post), they also learn how to behave as mature young adults. Part of that process, more often than not, involves learning about alcohol and how much they can or can not handle. Madison, Dane County, don't sweat the small stuff. There are bigger fish to fry.